The clock begins to count down as i am left with less than an hour to go before i booked back into the camp. And here i am, sitting in front of my dear ASUS i7 dearie, attempting to rush out another post for the week before i report back to serve my nation, for a week or perhaps two if i am called down literally into my csm office, to serve my confinement this weekend - definitely a scene that i hope will not reenact again. Looking back, it has been a great refreshing 4 nights spend at home since last Thursday when i was released from camp, until tonight when I will be required to continue my 1 year 10months bond to the country. It was no doubt a long healthy interim recovery period for me as i experienced this gripping feeling of returning back to the civilized world.

Tonight i thought of just penning a short reflection for this past one month, since i officially down pesed and transit from the fields to the office, and now the armskote. It has been a rollercoaster ride for me as i began my sharp journey to being a non-combatant, and in retrospect, it has never been easy acclimatising and adapting to new environment, new friends, and new working schedules. The first few moments of change has been harsh for me, and I realized that i have always been that inert self that is resistant to new changes after i have settled into my comfort zone. I struggled mentally when i was first posted to 40 SAR/C after BMT, and now, even a simple shift of working environment from the fields to the office has dealt a blow to my usual working lifestyle. Whether is it a change in the physical environment or the company around me, i have been slow in breaking the ice and taking the initiative to fit snuggly into this new predicament. Some may just dismiss this problem as a normalcy since its common for humans to feel unease when thrown in a foreign environment, but i am rather concern with my relatively high xenophobic personality that has inhibit me from breaking into new frontiers and be enthusiastic about unforeseen changes to my manageable smooth lifestyle. A problem that has since perturbed me after i almost broke into a bolt of depression after near 1 month of unit life.

NS life since 25/03/11, the official date of my down PES status (where PES is the acronym for Physical Employability Status) , has been of stark contrast to days before when i was still combatant, having this indescribable steel-like strong bonds with my fellow comrades - a bond that was still bemusing, given that i was that pessimistic, apprehensive recruit back in BMT days. It has never occurred to me that i could be so closely tied with my officers and platoon mates, that it did come across my mind that i should perhaps gave up all my down pes plans to be with them, after all it's only 8 months to go and that few outfields left to cheerish. (it was a long tumultuous pilgrimage and shall leave the dramatic parts of the journey to the other posts, maybe i can title the post 'camaraderie')

However what, the past 1 month of non-combatant life has been a fulfilling one, and despite the boons and banes, i am convinced that ultimately, i have never regretted making the salient decision that time. The reason why i am allowed to enjoy my Monday back in the comforts of my arm chair, and the opportunity to be involved in the army dine-in @ Pasir Lebar Leader's Hall with close-up interactions with a deluge of officers and warrant officers that belong to the higher echelons of power in the SAF, can all be attributed to my ultimate decision to join the ranks of the non-combatants. Donning in formal wear (CIVILIAN!), in a army camp during the tenure of 2 years as a NSF, can be easily listed as one of proudest achievement during my NS journey (haha!)...There were also many others firsts, such as having the honour to be on CSM's car, having intimate 1-1 conversation with him while witnessing the soft-side of this infamously notorious leader in our company. Refreshing, and a great unparalleled learning opportunity never ever discovered in any other NSF's journey :D