I thought of publishing a long post for today but yet again, due to my last minute Buddha-hugging habit (just finished packing 2 full bags of SAF items), i got to rush this emo post in approximately 1/2 hour in order to catch some sleep for the real long and dreading journey ahead. This post marks the last day of official freedom and liberation before i report to my new camp and unit, which is going to stick with me for another 1 years and 8 months. For the other more outstanding privates who have made their mark in SCS and OCS, at least they have a graduation and a mark to work towards to, but for normal man like me, I am nothing far from motivated to serve until I ORD next year December. Its going to be gruesome pilgrimage that I have yet to fathom its purpose, but yet, I just gotta suck it up and serve.

The posting came as a real shock as I thought i have been posted to become a tankee after my platoon commanders and sergeants have reaffirmed that i am likely to be one since i got short-listed for the interview. But after much blabbering with the officer and discussing of my politically-incorrect views of NS (which they actually encouraged us to), I realise its all just a planned trap to sieve people who are really interested to be a tankee from people like me who are clueless and direction less what is in for me. When i first enlisted on 4th Feb, my sis encouraged me that BMT phase is perhaps going to be the toughest 2 months of your 2 years and everything will get well after you post to your unit. But that may perhaps be a valid statement if i got into my dream vocations like military police, service medic or clerk, but now after all forms of assessment have been conducted and the 'perfect posting system' concludes its processing of all postings, I have landed myself in deep shit- an armour infantry trooper that combines the 'best of both worlds'. What an apt way to describe my vocation just like how i used this expression for my NTU double degree interview. Imagine staying in the same camp, doing the same things like what i did for BMT, going outfield every fortnight and completing missions one after another without even having a real enemy for a whole 20 months. I barely survived 2 months and now i gotta repeat all these for 10 more times... simple math shows how screwed my predicament is.

I aint have any high aims for my 2 years in NS. I gotta be frank that i am really envious of people who ended up in air-cons rooms, settling documents from 8-5 yet collecting the same meagre pay of $400 dollars. I didn't have the same motivation and strive like my platoon mates in Dragon Coy to get into command schools for all I aimed for is to make new friends and land myself a good vocation. I don't think the 1.2k is alluring enough for me to serve with my life, neither do i think i will defend my nation better if i had become a commander. I don't need to go through army for 20 months for 9weeks is enough to savour the experience.

But yet when i know that after I poured my grievances and woes, the reality that i will be reporting to my new home sinks in. I still lan lan have to suck thumb and serve... Keat Hong camp i really hope that you will prove to be a good home for my next 20 months. Down PES is seriously my last option unless i sustain an injury and i really hope my perseverance is going to pull me through my days as a MAN.

2010 has been a year of unique experiences especially when NS kicks in, which is followed by mixed emotions and maiden attempts at different things. I began to treasure things around me and i am thankful of my very supporting family members and friends. I began to realise and treasure my family, especially my parents and grandparents, as they were the ones standing by me when i was at the nadir of my life. I teared thrice during BMT- once before i enlisted, once midway through fieldcamp and the last when i had fever the day before POP and couldn't attend the graduation parade. I really don't wish to disappoint them again and make them worry for their child - a 18 year old boy MAN that is determined to grit his way through NS.